Why Me?

admin@eldee-wyjay.com

Hello. My name is ElDee, and I’m a Confidant and Professional Listener.

I’ll admit, it sounds a little weird at first. However, from years of professional service to others, I saw that people have been dealing with more-and-more stress in their lives. Not only that, but depression, anger, excitability and anxiousness.

A lot of these emotions and conditions are normal in our lives. In fact, we’re not very well rounded if we’re constantly in a state of bliss. Harlan Ellison, a famous author, wrote the following words:

“I know that pain is the most important thing in the universes. Greater than survival, greater than love, greater even than the beauty it brings about. For without pain, there can be no pleasure. Without sadness, there can be no happiness. Without misery there can be no beauty. And without these, life is endless, hopeless, doomed and damned.
Adult. You have become adult.”

― Harlan Ellison, Paingod and Other Delusions

So, for as badly as you feel when you’re experiencing pain, it can actually make you grow. Not being able to address the pain, well that’s another story. I’ve always thought the old saying, “No pain, no gain.” was misappropriated by the work-out coaches. Think about a young child reaching to touch a hot burner on a stove. You’ve told them not to, but they’re going to do it anyway. Once they do, they learn; don’t touch that thing! It hurts! It’s a growing and life experience.

The same can be said about internal hurt. What if someone you loved deeply suddenly turned on you, or maybe they even left. Since you loved that person very strongly, the emptiness and sense of betrayal hurts all the more. Yet, does it keep you from seeking a love later on? It shouldn’t. If you didn’t learn from the previous relationship about what went right and most importantly, what went wrong, you’ll be like that kid who never learns and touches the burner over-and-over again.

So, how do you get through the normal pains of life? One of the best ways is to talk it through. Your initial impulse might be to talk to your family and friends. That’s only natural. However, there might have been more secretive and intimate issues that you simply don’t want to discuss with these people. Who can blame you? You also don’t want to open yourself up completely to these people. Sometimes your readiness to share everything will bring you down in their eyes, especially if they look up to you like children or rely on you like elderly parents. That’s when a stranger can actually make a difference. More on that in a little bit.

Let’s say you don’t like your boss. That’s not all that uncommon. Yet, you don’t want to go around the office, warehouse or production line venting your anger to your co-workers and supervisors. Again, some things should be kept away from people who could actually use information like that against you at another time. This isn’t paranoia. It’s human nature. If you and a co-worker are going for a promotion and the other co-worker hasn’t stated their dislike for management but you have, who do you think might be considered first? If you choose them, then you understand what I’m saying. You really want to tell someone, but your spouse or significant other has their problems, too. Or, you’ve said it so many times they’re not even listening to you? It’d be nice to get that off your chest without repercussions, wouldn’t it?

Have you ever had a great idea? Something along the lines of a new business venture? Maybe there is a new product you’d like to create? Or, you’ve discovered a niche service market you know you’d simply be great at? Have you gone through the process of telling people your ideas only to have them fall through? Maybe they fell through because you didn’t have a chance to explore everything you needed to while you were talking with them? Maybe you were so excited in the discovery that when you went to talk about it, the idea began to fall apart as you were discussing it? Did you feel embarrassed when this happened? Or, did you get the feeling that your friends or family were either being hyper critical or overly zealous for you? Wouldn’t it be great to be able to get the idea out in the open without judgment? To be able to address what you either have in your head or have written down? To be able to listen to yourself giving your idea almost like a presentation without the pressure?

Are you having a family problem? Is it affecting you not only at home but at work? You probably don’t want to tell anyone else about it. You live and/or work with these people. You don’t want them to know your issues. You want them to believe that your life is going on just fine. Yet, you need to get the issues out because they’re building up, and you feel like you’re going to burst. You want to shake your fist to the sky and get all the anger out in a productive way, but there are only so many times you can mow the yard in one week. The Gym is okay, but you’re afraid you’ll get too aggressive and hurt yourself. You need a confidant, but you don’t know where to turn.

Let’s be honest. There are ways and services available to you. You may or may not be religious, but you don’t want the next sermon being based on your problems coming from the same Pastor you spoke with earlier in the week. You could try your best friends or family members. But, how objective can they really be? Some other services include work supplied “Employee Assistance Programs” or EAP’s. You could ask your doctor to refer you to a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist. You could. There’s only one problem with all of these different services: They’re documented, and in some instances might even be available to your employer. They’re certainly going to be available in the digital medial database that is just about everywhere. You might work in a very secure and/or sensitive job or environment or both. Do you want your personal thoughts open like that? Do you want to be “labeled” by a doctor because based on their training they think you’re depressed, bipolar, or forbid the thought; psychotic? I’m guessing your answer would be a resounding, “No!” And, I don’t blame you. Maybe you just need to have a great rant!

I know of one more way to talk out your thoughts, but I’m not a big fan of it. If someone suggests that you sit in front of a mirror and talk to yourself, odds are you’re going to be much more critical and/or self deprecating to yourself than anyone else. You’ll shut yourself down, and you’ll be convinced that you’re not worth the time. That is not true! You are not only worth the time, you’re worth being the absolute best you can be! Physician, heal thyself?!?! Sound familiar? I can’t suggest this form of help, as I don’t believe it is.

What I offer is a chance for you to have a confidential, non-judgemental, empathetic and open environment in which to express yourself. The only records I will keep will be your name, the date(s) and time(s) you see me. Oh, yes; and your payment history. I will not video record, voice record, take pictures, write notes or create “charts” based on why you came to me. The only reason I would discuss your visits would be at your request. You are not a patient with me. Speaking of audio and video. I do offer the ability to Skype your discussions with me. I cannot be held responsible for what the internet providers or Microsoft ™  do with these types of conversation. I will not record these sessions if you need to reach me and you are not near my office. There are other options, and we can discuss them once you contact me.

I am the ears you need to help you through times of stress, pain, anxiety, uncertainty and even high-keyed moments. I am not here to give you advice. If you request my opinion, I’ll most likely ask you to turn the question back and ask yourself the same thing. In other words, does your question sound good or make sense to you? This is where the light bulb can come on in your mind, and things become more clear for you. You know your situation better than anyone in the whole world! I’m not here to judge. I help you find your own path. I am not a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist or any other “ist”. I am a Professional Listener with decades of experience and training, and I’m here for you. I’m not here for some insurance company, medical group or pharmaceutical company.

How does this sound to you? Would you like to come in for a free 15 minute session to see if I could be your sounding board? Maybe we can schedule a phone call. If so, please send me an email. I’ll get back with you as soon as I can. If it isn’t right away, please be aware that I might be with other people at that time. I promise that I’ll reach out to you as soon as possible.

I hope you find having a Professional Listener in your life a huge weight off your shoulders. By having a willing, sympathetic and understanding ear, you can experience your pain, learn to deal with it and find your own way through life with the knowledge that your information is secure. And, most importantly; won’t it be great that you were able to find your own path? How incredibly amazing and satisfying that will be! Don’t put it off. Contact me today!

ElDee

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